The most crippling energy in the world is Fear, being the most powerful tool of enslavement. I can honestly say at times I’ve allow fear to bring me to a place, lost of sense of self, absence of energy, creativity, and drive ……………..I get stuck. And as an artist, having no creative flow, is like not being able to breath, …………….so you die.
Recently, in the last several months, I’d been feeling lost, not knowing which direction I should go, who I should trust, very confused about love, business and life. I decided go within, connecting to my yoga practice, meditating, fasting, reading, listening, allowing patience in the process of doing whatever I could to do to bring me back to peace.
Making peace brought me to Atlanta, GA, a much need break from it all. A retreat with good company. Heard all about this beautiful land at the Chattahoochee River. I had to check it out for myself.
Growing up, I have always noticed my body was different from my friends and others. Small waist and breast, big hands and feet, I never noticed my reflection in magazines; it was never realistic for me, but what I have always noticed was the beauty in the natural. More and more, I noticed my reflection in the essence of nature. Living in this world where I am bombarded with subconscious messages. Energy fuel with fear on a daily basis through entertainment, TV, and radio, cripples not only the psyche but destroys this amazing avatar we call our body.
Every cell in my body feels what I feel, reminding me that, about 90% of our sicknesses are psychosomatic, caused by the Mind…….. more than water we drink, food we eat, or any other physiological factor. Maybe, this is why it is said that positive thoughts can cure most of our cancers, heart problems and other medical conditions,……..just simply by molecularly changing the body chemistry, curing the illness completely. Disease would all disappear if we were somehow able to alleviate the vibrations of thoughts that brought them about in the first place.
Love is the most liberating and healing force in the universe. The Creative energy has no desire to control or manipulate, so we have no need to fear its judgment. The art of love is to protect and liberate us for only then can we truly express the Divine nature within us.
I have always to been curious about air baths. Allowing it to dance all around me, letting my pores breath. Particularly the rays of sun gives our bodies a bounce, a luster, a glow, healthy skin and a deep connect with divine. Fear has been the only reason why I had not allow myself this feeling or experience.
So I walk on the deck, nervous, ………….hesitate, I glanced at my bestfriend photographer Jahaan London , for reassurance. In return, he gave me nothing but encouraging words, a place of nonjudgmental love and peace. Those words, that energy, was the fuel I needed to connect to my own power of oneself. As humans we constantly cover our bodies causing our skin to age quickly but at this very moment, my whole body, my skin, desired to be kissed by the wind. So I allowed and let go. Once in the nude, I was free. The sensation of being bare in nature felt so liberating,………… like we are truly supposed to be. The sense of not knowing before, disappeared. Fearful thoughts , went away and as I began to breath, looking down at my reflection of myself in the river, I saw God, a Goddess…………spirit spoke and said to me, “you are exactly where you need to be”……..and then I breathe.